Unprude and unapologetic: Dr Rica Cruz is making sex education mainstream in a conservative country

In 2023, Cruz hosted a television show entitled Private Convos with Doc Rica. “I’m not a talk show host, I’m a therapist,” she says. “I was just talking to people about their sex lives. And then I found out MTRCB [the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board] banned my show.” MTRCB monitors the movies and TV shows broadcast in the Philippines, ensuring they reach age-appropriate audiences. 

“This was the first time the attacks were not on me, but on the advocacy,” Cruz says. “I didn’t know how to push forward because I felt so alone in the fight.” She was ready to move abroad with her family, restarting her practice there. “But [journalist and podcaster] Stephanie Zubiri messaged me, saying, ‘I’m so angry because this happened to you.’ That made me realise I wasn’t alone after all.” 

This laid the groundwork for Unprude, a sexual wellness platform that makes sex education and therapy accessible to people from all walks of life. The app offers personalised, self-paced programmes that include expert insights, reflective activities and comprehensive sex education. It also features games and podcasts to encourage self-reflection and open up conversations about sex and relationships.

“Our goal is to help you decrease sexual shame and embrace your sexual self—on your own terms,” emphasises Cruz. “We invite people to approach sex from a place of love and respect. Sex is at the core of our being, it influences how we identify, express ourselves and relate to others. That sounds so abstract, but after 11 years, I see how a community that shares these values is coming to life.”

More from Tatler: Emer founder Celine Ventalon on why she wants women to switch to menstrual underwear—for their health and for the planet

The Philippines is a deeply Catholic country, which emphasises chastity and modesty, especially for women. But for Cruz, conversations about sex and relationships were in dire need of more nuance and openness. She first designed the Unprude platform to sell products to improve sexual wellness and enjoyment. While this did help to destigmatise toys and the idea of advocating for one's own pleasure, Cruz wanted to do more than that. Her area of expertise lay more in psychology than manufacturing. To make her teachings more accessible to people, she started brainstorming what would one day become the Unprude app. 

“It’s not easy to make an app–and it’s quite expensive too,” Cruz says. She pitched the idea to a femtech company headed by two women. Upon seeing sex toys on the Unprude e-commerce site, one of the founders shut the idea down. She had a firm background as a church leader, which made her disinclined to pursue the project further. Still, she agreed to meet with Cruz over lunch to give her a chance. Over the meal, she shared her own life struggles. “I realised this was what I wanted to do, to help people feel less alone in their struggles,” says Cruz. “Right then and there, she told me, ‘Okay, let’s do it.’ They became my partners that very day.” 

In an app that generates conversation about sexual activity, there is a tendency for the conversation to go in a crude direction. Now, Cruz and her team are finding ways to find a balance, ensuring that the discussions maintain a sense of respect and maturity. As the app expands to users in other countries, it is more important than ever to foster a supportive, safe environment for all.

Working behind the scenes on this app has blurred the work-life boundary for Cruz, who is mother to two girls. “I choose to be a mother before anything else,” she says. Her older daughter was her first-ever student, as she engaged her in age-appropriate conversations about sex and gender from a young age. “She’s handled it very well because there was no malice in the conversation,” Cruz says proudly. 

The mother-daughter duo has paved the way for more open conversations among Filipino families through a sex ed column on the Smart Parenting website. There, they discuss topics such as teenagers using AI chatbots for sexual discovery, navigating the menstrual cycle, and more. Both Cruz and her daughter answer the questions in their own words, making taboo topics easier to digest and discuss. 

Aside from that, Cruz is learning how to parent her neurodivergent younger daughter. “I want to learn how to talk about sex with her. As much as possible, I want to protect her from what I experienced as a child, but I also want her to know how to advocate for herself,” says Cruz.  

For Cruz, it is parents that need to prioritise their sexual well-being, even—and perhaps especially—as they age. This can be particularly challenging for women, who have to unpack decades of misogynistic rhetoric and traumatic experience. “We want these women to reclaim their sexual selves and to realise there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” says Cruz. 

She also points out that 40 per cent of Unprude’s clientele are men. “They have questions about a wide range of topics and no one to turn to,” she says. “But they thank me for creating Unprude as it helps them understand themselves and their partners better.” The patriarchy’s impact on men is not to be underestimated, especially as younger generations are exposed to more alarming content that objectifies and demonises women on social media.

“Aside from educating [these boys] in schools, the entire community around them at home has to get involved,” she says. “The group to focus on is the parents. I’ve taught sex ed in schools, and what happens is when the students get home, their parents shoot the lessons down immediately. The kids are more confused than ever. They turn to pornography or their friends, many of whom don’t understand sex any more than they do.” 

She understands the struggle of parents to open up about such taboo topics. But for those who are willing to see the value in her teachings, she is ready to start the conversation. “Sometimes, it’s just lacking the language and tools to navigate this new stage in parenting,” she says. “None of these things have been given to them. Sometimes, even I forget that we didn’t have this level of access to information during my parents’ time. So we have to extend that grace to them, and be patient with them as they undergo the hard work of this journey for themselves.” 

Front & Female Changemakers celebrates the extraordinary journeys of inspiring women who have emerged as powerful changemakers in a range of fields, offering a glimpse into their lives and showcasing their courage, vision and relentless pursuit of change and progress. From social entrepreneurs and business leaders to educators, artists, activists and scientists, Front & Female changemakers exemplify the ability to challenge the status quo and demonstrate the power of women to effect change.

NOW READ

Explore these 5 recent interior design projects by Benilde students

The weaving revival in Cebu that's empowering women and preserving Filipino craftsmanship

Amplifying trans men’s voices in and out of the workplace with the Spill The T podcast team