What separates exceptional leaders from the rest? Top executive coach Brenda Bence shares her leadership insights

The results were striking: within 18 months, the division she was running—a billion-dollar business at that time—jumped from number four to number one in market share. “Yes, there were strategic changes put in place too,” she allows, “but it demonstrated that coaching doesn’t just help people, it helps grow the business.”

That revelation became her life’s work. Today, the Singapore-based executive coach and advisor works with clients across six continents. She has been inducted into the Asia Professional Speakers Singapore Hall of Fame, one of the highest honours for speakers in the region; named a Coaching Legend by Thinkers50, a global platform that identifies, ranks and shares about leading management thinkers and ideas; and recognised as the number three top executive coach globally by Global Gurus, which ranks thought leaders, coaches and speakers worldwide.

Having observed leaders around the world, Bence has identified a few universal traits that define the best: decisiveness—with conviction and speed, and often in situations where choices are not black and white; visionary thinking—the ability to imagine a bold, compelling future that often does not exist yet, and inspire others to believe in it too; and resilience—to sustain performance in the face of public scrutiny, crises, board pressures and more.

But what separates the exceptional from the merely competent? “Listening,” says Bence, who cannot overstate the importance of a leader’s ability to listen, which she has found is a common blind spot. “There are two ways to listen,” she shares. “One is to listen to understand; the other is listening to respond.” She sees many leaders fall into the latter, often because of time pressure, or over-reliance on the belief in their own expertise. Poor listening, she expounds, is the root of countless organisational issues, from disengagement to missed opportunities. “You can lose touch with reality fast if you’re not truly listening to understand, especially in a world that’s moving as quickly as today’s,” she says.

Another common blind spot? Leaders surrounding themselves with yes people. “The higher up you get, the less real feedback you receive,” Bence explains. Feedback is filtered and echo chambers form. “You have got to be a leader who encourages diverse opinions, dissent and risk-taking.”

Bence leads by example as an unfiltered truth teller as well as a trusted sounding board. “Wouldn’t you want to hear about something that might be holding you back from moving forward? I would,” she says, “At those high levels, nobody really wants to tell you the truth and [what you do hear] is all so filtered. But feedback really is a gift—it’s how we get better.”

Receiving that essential, honest feedback—by truly listening—then informs the next critical leadership function: making better decisions. This can be done by tapping into what Bence calls our “three brains”. “The head brain is logical, fact- and data-driven, and relies on experience. The heart brain helps us make decisions through feeling. And the gut guides us through intuition. When you can use your head, heart and gut in balance, you make better decisions,” she says. “The East often leads with a lot of gut, the West with more head. I help leaders leverage all three together.”

Many of Bence’s coaching foundations—self-awareness, leading at scale, transitioning from functional expert to enterprise leader—have remained consistent over the years. But some challenges have transformed dramatically. “Stakeholder management used to be simple: boards, investors, leadership team, employees and maybe regulators. Now, it’s social media, 24/7 news cycles, higher visibility and constant scrutiny. You’re facing reputational risk every time you walk down the street, because everyone’s got a phone,” she says. Employees, too, have a huge voice externally through platforms such as Glassdoor, LinkedIn and X.

“All it takes is one mishap to go screaming across the internet,” says Bence. A recent case in point involved the married CEO of data company Astronomer, who was caught embracing the company’s chief people officer, also married but at that point separated from her husband, on camera during a Coldplay concert. The video went viral and led to his resignation shortly after. “[The C-suite] has always been a pressured job—it’s even higher pressure now.”

Looking ahead, Bence says that the most critical trait for future leaders is adopting a “seeker mindset” rather than a “knower mindset”. In the past, “leaders were expected to be the smartest people in the room,” she points out. “Now, the smartest leaders know to lead the experts. A ‘knower mindset’ can become a liability because what worked yesterday isn’t going to solve tomorrow. The ‘seeker’ stays adaptable when there’s uncertainty. You can build cultures of learning and curiosity, and not worry about being wrong.”

Between 50 and 70 per cent of executive transitions fail within the first 18 months, according to research from the Corporate Executive Board—and this can prove costly. Forced succession at the highest levels has been shown by Strategy& to result in $1.8 billion lost in shareholder value. Yet, Bence has never had a failure by these metrics in C-suite succession. She ensures that those who get into her system have, as she puts it, “the coachability, the commitment and the consistency”—the three traits she looks for in anyone she works with.

As a younger generation of leaders takes the helm, Bence sees a powerful exchange taking shape between generations. “In younger leaders, there’s a sense of authenticity over polish,” says Bence. “They’re purpose-driven and want work-life integration.” These are qualities employees increasingly demand from their leaders.

Meanwhile, seasoned executives bring resilience and wisdom shaped by experience. “Many have lived through economic downturns, global crises and industry disruptions. That perspective builds steadiness under pressure,” says Bence. “They also have institutional savvy—navigating boards, regulators, geopolitics—and excel at building deep, trust-based relationships.”

Ultimately, Bence believes that the best leaders never stop learning—and never go it alone. “Most leaders tell me they want to be inspiring,” she says. “But if you want to be inspiring, you need to be inspired. You get that from learning, from growth, from your own personal and professional development.”

Only when leaders are inspired can they truly inspire others.

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